The Shittiest Reason to Start Working Out is to Attract Women
Psst! I got into working out to become noticeable to women :P
Back in 2007, when I weighed some 55 odd kilograms, I was regularly taunted, ridiculed and called names by friends and certain cousins for being thin — “lanky”, and “piece of stick” being the less-harsher ones.
It hurt.
And when I’d see almost everyone around me going on dates, parties, etc., it would feel even worse.
I felt undeserving, and insufficient.
I couldn’t understand why.
After some pondering, the only logical reason I could find was that I needed to improve my appearance.
Because what shines, sells…right?
So my journey began.
Within a few months, I had already dated a few women in my circle.
But soon there came a point when I realised that working out was not some temporary activity I was into to achieve a certain goal. I had grown curious.
I was fascinated by this wonderful (almost shape-shifting) capacity of the human body, when put through calculated stress and hardship of exercise.
I got hooked!
Fast forward, today, I stand at 91 kgs.
Bigger, stronger, and to some extent fatter too, haha.
Looking back, I feel happy that I got off that ‘working out to impress’ wagon, very early.
Sadly, I don’t see that happening with many.
Most men get into the gym with the sole intent to see themselves pump up. They expect that it will make women go ‘wow’, and come swooning over their big chest or biceps.
Lol!
But that’s still fine, until you see them show up the next week, and then the next month, (and quite commonly, the next year) with the same goal, same intent and same approach.
That’s when you know the case is lost.
It’s sad, and it doesn’t have to be that way.
Look, you might have this secret belief that women are some beautiful but brainless creatures with a magnet installed in them that will somehow pull them towards you as you take a walk through your block.
But you haven’t thought this through.
In fact, you did not realise but your secret belief is running in the opposite direction to your desires.
Ask yourself: “If an attractive body is supposed to be the only qualifying factor for a woman to like you, why should she choose you over another man with an equally attractive or better physique than yours?”
Does it ring a bell?
In fact, I have a few ideas to share with you that will expand the horizons of your thought:
Women don’t operate like men
When it comes to sexual selection, women are biologically designed to subconsciously prioritize safety, security for a balanced and robust upbringing of the offspring.
This means she is inclined to ‘prefer’ a man who is not only physically strong, but is socially intelligent, and financially sound over the other.
Right off the bat, this separates a woman’s list of criterias from that of a man’s.
Individual preferences, tendencies, and tastes can vary woman to woman, however, at a broad level, the tendency remains, and rightfully so.
Also, It is a documented fact that women are usually more emotionally intelligent than men, which means they can assess a man’s level of emotional maturity, relatively easily.
The more emotionally mature a man is, the higher the likelihood he is going to stick around and not abandon her and the family.
Makes sense, right?
So, there is a long list of things that a woman is likely to look for in a man.
But you do not need to bother sitting through it, trying to tick off the items there.
Simply, you need to understand that a woman is as human as you, just with a slightly different set of priorities and expectations.
Appearance matters until it doesn’t
Appearance is important!
After all, it is the very first thing she sees about you — your face, outfit, grooming, etc.
It sends a signal about how well you take care of yourself.
It is also the basis for sexual arousal (lust).
To say that it doesn’t matter at all, would be crazy.
But what’s after that?
What package are you bringing to the table?
Are you mentally, physically, financially and socially stable to protect, provide and look after the needs of the family?
Note that these are subconscious primitive triggers in a woman’s mind. She may subscribe to the modern ‘liberal’ views as per the prevalent social narrative, but she will tend to follow her subconscious mental scripts that’s best for her (like we all do).
Women (and people in general) treat you the way you tell them to
We, like everyone else, are always sending signals — sometimes consciously, most of the time, unconsciously.
Which means that other people pick those signals and decide on how to act accordingly.
If you are confident, strong, calm and composed, you’re sending a signal that you are supposed to be taken seriously, and treated with respect.
You would do the same with someone else living that part, won’t you?
So if you build a good body, but never focus on improving other areas of your health — mental, social and financial, you need to ask yourself:
“Would I like to be admired only for my body?”
And
“If I don’t care for myself, and love myself enough, can I expect others to follow the suit?”
Your answers to these questions will help you grasp the next point.
There is so much more to exercise than becoming big and muscular
If you look at exercise only as a way to grow the size of your muscles, you’ve barely scratched the surface yet.
And I promise you that once you explore that side, it will change the way you approach your workouts.
Your body is designed for movement, to go from one place to another. It craves movement!
When you’re moving weights, you’re focusing on how it will build the size of your muscles.
But your body is focusing on assessing the level of stress you’ve placed and the kind of adjustments it needs to make to the muscle so you can handle the same level of stress on the muscle efficiently the next time.
Sit with this for a moment.
Think of it — you moved your limbs to grow the size, while your body moved it to overcome a challenge and complete a task, and it wants to have it easier the next time.
Which means — YOUR body is an ingenious machine that has evolved for thousands of years to help you become better at handling difficult things over time.
Isn’t that mind-blowing?
You want to become flexible like a gymnast? You can!
You want to become agile like a dancer? You can!
You want to become resilient and durable as a soldier? You can!
What a gift this body is!
Isn’t it then worthwhile to look at exercising, training, or working out as a way to express yourself, channel your energies, and explore new possibilities?
Wouldn’t it be interesting to learn how this ingenious machine works?
Isn’t it then reasonable to seek physical strength and fitness to become healthier, happier and more confident?
After all, when we are truly comfortable with ourselves, we are confident, secure, and thus more seductive.
So, what will be your reason to start working out from tomorrow?
